New Mum on the Blog

Sharing is Caring! Experiences, insights, advice and tips from one mum to another

Don’t Worry Be Happy

on August 13, 2012

After 10 months of never even entertaining the idea of leaving baby girl at home for the night with a sitter I finally did it! Let me clarify, it’s not that I haven’t left the house without her in almost a year, I just never left her awake with someone else. Jon and I would go out after she was in bed, it just made me feel better knowing that she could sleep soundly thinking we were in the next room, (ok, I also may have some control/attachment issues). And when I say sitter I definitely didn’t mean leaving her alone with a 14 year old girl, who chooses to talk in acronyms and wear clothes that would probably fit my 3 year old niece. I obviously left her in the hands of my wonderful older sister, Nat, because let’s face it, babysitter’s just aren’t like they used to be.
I’ve known this day was coming for the last few weeks. So I had time to work myself up to it, prepare, and think of ways to back out of going to this event. The weekend finally came and from the encouragement from fellow mums, friends and my family I promised myself I was going and I was going to have fun! My sister came over in the afternoon so I could get ready. I curled my hair, put on a full face, even put on a necklace; I entertained the idea of hoop earrings too but didn’t want to push my luck. I kept saying to my sister, “she’s probably going to cry when we leave, if it get’s bad just text me and I’ll come home,” and “when you put her to bed, she’s probably going to freak out so just try to calm her down and if it’s bad text me and I’ll come home.” I probably revised the same scenario a hundred times and always ended with ‘I’ll come home if it’s bad.’
So after bugging Jon to hurry up and get ready (weekly occurrence), we were ready to go. Oh but wait, I had to write down baby girl’s itinerary for the evening just in case it wasn’t drilled into Nat’s head after repeating myself 4 times. Ok, now I was ready to go. Oh but wait, let me just lay out her sleeper and night time diaper, and just explain the bath to Nat again. Ok, now I’m ready. Of course we left while baby girl was having dinner because she was distracted. In the car for about 5 minutes, and I’ve already messaged Nat, ‘is she ok?’ I’m also wondering to myself, why isn’t Jon as worried as I am? Doesn’t he care we are leaving our baby home? Doesn’t he wonder how someone else is going to be able to take over her routine tonight? She’s never had a bottle at night, how is that going to go? God, he doesn’t even care. So now not only am I suffering from anxiety, I am now mad at Jon for not caring enough. Great, this is going to be a terrible night.
It’s been about an hour and I’ve probably messaged Nat about 5 times, and her responses were always equally positive, “she’s great, just finished eating!” and “yup, she’s all good, she just took a massive poop!” and “She’s good, she’s sleeping.” Wow, ok. Really? She went to sleep without me there? She took the bottle ok? You mean, my baby girl is OK? I turned to my friend and said with a big grin, “The baby is fine!”
After I said it, it was like I had an epiphany, my baby is fine! What was I so worried about? Why didn’t I have a little more faith? All that worrying for nothing! It felt so good so to be able to just breathe and think about something other then what baby girl could be doing at that moment. It was such a relief to know that this could be the first night of many- well maybe just a couple. That maybe it’s time I start to give up a little control once in a while (maybe), that really what’s the worst that can happen? So I had two things I needed to do then, 1) get a drink and 2) find Jon and let him know, which his reply was a proud, “I told you so.”
I wanted to write about this because I know I am not the only mum out there who thinks like this, especially if it’s your first. My experience may not stop you from all the paranoia and giving up control, but maybe, just maybe, by reading this it will help you have a little more faith, a little more courage, and feel a little bit better about leaving your babes for the first time. As my one wise friend put it, ‘she’s at home, safe, with your sister, if she cries she cries, if she screams she screams. Have you ever heard of a baby that doesn’t cry or scream? She’s safe.”

Please visit www.thebabyandchild.com to read up on valuable information and resources through pregnancy and beyond

You may not see the anxiety in this pic but I know it’s there!

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