New Mum on the Blog

Sharing is Caring! Experiences, insights, advice and tips from one mum to another

Just to fill you in…

on September 11, 2012

Does your spouse come home at night and say to you “Ok so give me a play by play of what you did today? I want details-new sounds, new foods, new gestures?Fill me in!” If so, then congratulations you found a diamond in the ruff. But for those of us whose husbands and boyfriends come home, probably exhausted from a days work (because remember your at home doing nothing all day), and ask the general “how was your day?”  question while sitting on the couch watching Storage Wars, Shipping Wars, Whale Wars (what is with these shows?) then this latest post is for you.

I got an email a while back about how oblivious men are when it comes to women being at home with the babes and kids. I can’t remember the exact wording of the email so I will jot down the just of it.

Dad comes home every night to a clean house, laundry done, kids in bed and dinner on the table, and like most men have no idea what it takes to get all of this done whilst taking care of 3 children, all toddlers no less. Not to mention things like grocery shopping, bath time, pick ups and drop off’s…you get the picture. Well one night he came home and asked his wife, “So what exactly is it you do all day?” with the sort of sarcastic tone as if he is running the country all day while mom is at home painting her nails.

So the next evening hubs comes home. The house is a mess, laundry stewn all over the house, the floors are covered in mud, the kids are still up and running around the house, dinner is not made…hubs asks, ” Honey! What happened today?” to which the wife replies, “Well you asked me what I did all day? Today I didn’t do it.”

You know exactly how this story feels don’t you? Why is it men think when we have babies we just get a free year off, or if we decide to be stay at home mom’s we don’t do anything but playdates and bake cookies. I know, I know not all men think this way, and don’t get me wrong I’m not targeting my spouse in this post either, I’m just simply stating the facts. Men really have no idea what it is like to run a household, take care of the kids. It’s like that status update you see on Facebook every once in a while,

“I am a Mum! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, Hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man. I don’t get paid holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that’s just with being a Mum.. !! I may not be anything to you but I am everything to someone! Repost if you agree.”

It get’s a bunch of likes and a couple moms repost as if secretly hoping hubs will see it and have an epiphany. Ladies, instead of posting this on Facebook post it on every wall in your home! Remember, men are not mind readers! (Read I hate to break it to ya…)

Don’t worry guys, I’m not going to leave the posting like that. I do want to give credit where credit is due. We appreciate and understand that you have to go to work everyday to bring home the bacon. That you might miss important milestones like the first word or first step, and that you probably only get to spend the most time with your kids on weekends, I totally get that you might feel out of the loop or a bit behind when it comes to baby. Maybe just ask more questions, ask for the details, don’t let her stop at, “it was a good day, how was yours.” Trust me, we would love nothing more then to talk to you about it all, but like you we are tired after a days work.

On the weekend Jon had to watch Aud for most of the time because I was busy running around. He called a couple times to ask me questions about when to give her a bottle, when to feed her dinner, what outfit would I like her in for the day…at first my reaction was “Are you kidding me? How can you not know this stuff?” The truth is, he wouldn’t know. I realized that maybe I need to fill him in more on our day even though he might not ask for the details, that maybe I need to leave him with her more often and not scold him when he asks me how much milk should be in her bottle.

When I got home he actually said to me, “babe, I totally get how hard it can be taking care of everything at home all day with baby girl, I don’t know how you do it everyday.” *melt*

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