Labor Day

Well that’s it, my daughter is no longer a baby. She is officially a toddler. She turned the big o-n-e this past weekend. It is just such a bittersweet feeling. A part of me is soo excited for what’s ahead, the walking, the talking, the new discoveries but a part of me is a little sad my wee baby is no longer a wee baby.

When I think back to when I had her I can remember every single detail. The morning my water broke, the phone call to Jon, the drive to the hospital, the nurses name, the layout of the hospital room, how many times I was checked, the minute the nurse told me it was time, the emotions, the feelings, everything!  I remember being pretty calm most of the day, until the pain started. That’s the funny think about birth stories. Every women can pretty much remember every last detail of that day, whether it was a year ago or 20 years ago, it’s one of those memories you just don’t forget.

It all started on a Monday. I had been on my mat leave for a couple weeks now and was anxiously awaiting her arrival. Like most women in their last trimester I was ready, get her out. I was puffy, retaining water like a balloon, I couldn’t sleep, I was just huge. So a couple girlfriends and I had plans to go to dinner that night and on our way to the restaurant my car ran out of gas, (I’m not getting into the details of why…it happens to us all!) We are all sitting in the car waiting for Jon to come and help us out for what seems like hours, (if you know Jon, you know it takes him double time to do anything). While we were sitting in the car I started to feel crampy pain in my side, my girlfriend asked me if I was ok to which I replied, “ya I think I’m just hungry,” not knowing that it was the starting pains of labor! We all giggled in the car and joked that Aud would be here any day, (she wasn’t due for about 2 weeks). Got some gas, went to the restaurant and I ordered a delicious pizza.

Fast forward to Wednesday. I woke up and was feeling more tired then usual, and nauseous, which I hadn’t felt since the first trimester. They tell you nausea is a sign of labor but when it’s all actually happening and it wasn’t the week of our due date, I didn’t think much of it.  Come on I still had time, plus I thought first time mums are usually over due?

We had a very busy weekend ahead too! It was thanksgiving weekend coming up to which I was in charge of making the pies, we had a family wedding that I really did not want to miss, and my grandmother was ill in the hospital so we were planning on visiting. So much to do, I cannot have the baby this weekend!

So then Thursday night comes around and one of my great girlfriends told me to sit on a yoga ball and move my hips around, get baby girl to sit real low. I didn’t think much of it, I didn’t think it would really do much. So that night during an episode of Jersey Shore, I sat on the yoga ball and moved around for a few minutes. Just as I thought, I didn’t feel any different. So off to bed I went and curled up with my Snoogle pillow (best investment during pregnancy, trust me).

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and feeling a little crampy, and Aud had the hiccups so I was up from that as well but quickly fell back asleep. I woke up in the morning around 9 a.m. to a text message from my girlfriend asking if it was time, I “ugh’d” at my phone, and rolled over.

When I rolled over, I felt it. It was like a giant balloon had just popped. I shot up, and ran out of bed into the bathroom. I stood there for a second and thought about a million different things to myself; this is it, she’s coming. Do I call 911? NO, no, I’m going to call Jon. Then I will call my mom, then my sister. Who’s driving me to the hospital? Wait, I need to have a shower, I HAVE to shave. Oh sh*t, I have to finish packing my bag. I have to cancel my lunch date. Should I wash my hair? I just colored it… this is happening.

 I started the phone calls, first Jon, then my mum, then my sister.  A few minutes later mum and sis showed up, it felt like they were freaking out more then I was. I was trying to stay calm, cool, and collected. We finished packing my bag and off we went. I took a video on the way to the hospital, and I look and sound completely terrified. We check into the hospital, I tell the nurse my water broke and immediately I am checked in and brought to the 4^th floor. They bring me into triage, and hook me up to a heart rate and Doppler machine.

I explain to the nurse what happened and she nods her head and tells me indeed my water broke, so I will be staying indefinitely. She tells me to press the button every time I feel a contraction, but the weird thing is I haven’t felt any yet. A few minutes go by and she comes in and asks me why I’m not pressing the button. This time I just start pressing it every few minutes because I just assume that’s when my contractions are happening.

After a while I am moved into a room. We unpack a couple things, get out the camera, our phones, Jon FINALLY arrives also looking rather terrified but excited. We bicker about what took him so long, I tell him I forgot a blanket for him. Then the Dr. comes in.

She examined me and tells me why I am not feeling the contractions that much is because my water hadn’t completely broke. So she breaks, what she explains is the second layer. Oh, so that what it should feel like. It felt like a galloon of water had just poured out of me.

About 20 minutes later the contractions started. O.M.G. So this is what it feels like, I thought. As time went on they got worse and worse, and closer together. Just like how you see in those baby shows. The nurse kept asking me if I wanted my epidural, and I kept putting it off until finally she didn’t give me much of a choice.

After I got the epidural and after some hot and cold flashes, it started to kick in. Ahhh…this feels good. I pressed the drip about every 10 minutes or so. Around 8 p.m. is when I could start to feel my contractions again, and I knew I was getting close. All of a sudden it became so real. All these thoughts going through my head- Can I do this? What if something happens? What if I can’t push? How much is this going to hurt?

Around 9 p.m. I started to push. I remember thinking it was a lot of work, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I was out of breath, I felt nauseous, it was exhausting and come on, it hurt. Jon was my coach, he did a lot of yelling and telling me to keep going. The nurse looked at me at one point and said “Hockey player?” I nodded my head, yes. My mom and sister kept telling me they could see her head, and the nurse kept telling me I needed to push harder. I took a deep breath, tilted my head down and pushed as hard as I could.

 At 9:38 p.m. Audrina was here. 7 lbs 11 ounces. I cried incessantly and couldn’t wait to hold her. My eyes followed every move the nurse made with her. I had so many overwhelming feelings and emotions, my happiness and love I had for this little baby I just met was incredible.

 We were at the hospital for a couple days, asking the nurses about a million questions and gearing up for the day we went home. It’s amazing how natural motherhood comes to us isn’t it? How we can be so scared and nervous about this step in our lives but once it’s hear you can’t imagine life any other way.

I am utterly amazed watching my daughter grow in front of my eyes everyday. I couldn’t be happier and more at bliss having her in my life. She truly is my little miracle, and I can’t wait to see what else life has to offer.

So happy first birthday to my little monkey. Mama and Dada love you so much and could not imagine our lives without you in it.